Elaine The Cliff Notes …

It gets “yucky” in bits yet it’s THE FACTS:

My road has neither been easy nor smooth, conquering the rough patches is what has molded me into the strong capable woman I am today.

In a motor vehicle accident in 1976, I was crushed between three cars. I lost part of my leg, had numerous fractures, and consequently, I have had to endure major surgeries, skin grafts, and multiple corrective surgeries for years. I have no kneecaps, a cool titanium half-joint on the left leg, a titanium humerus rod, multiple screws, a 4 inch nail and various and sundry other non-factory bits…

In 1983, I went in to hospital for surgery: It was to be a stay of 6 days and then back on my feet in 3 weeks. Those 3 weeks stretched into months and months, more surgeries,  and the indignity of having my throat slit and diverted out my neck! Followed by decades of pain, frustration and a fair amount of despair, chronic digestive issues, chronic illnesses and chronic pain. Oh and drugs!! Tons of narcotics

The surgery was badly botched and those 3 weeks turned into my decades long nightmare. I spent months in hospital,  multiple times: feeding through a tube in my left side for 13 and a half months, multiple blood transfusions, and even more surgeries.

During one surgery, a thoracic surgeon diverted my esophagus out my neck, leaving me with a hole in my neck. I lay in intensive care with an abdominal incision that was left open, hooked up to many machines, with multiple tubes coming out of me everywhere, while the saliva that leaked from the hole in my neck, ate through my skin like battery acid and left sores down my neck and chest. Approximately, 18 days later a nurse sent for a stoma therapist who fashioned a colostomy bag set-up to attach to the hole. Leaking saliva still caused sores but they were much smaller and less painful. The hole in my neck was finally closed six months later, leaving a sort of pouching inside; the scar tissue from the unusual procedure made it necessary to have my throat dilated every couple of months and causes problems to this day. NOTE: I sometimes whoop like a crane and water can get stuck?? in my neck, ever so elegant! LOL


I was diagnosed with hepatitis ‘c’ in 1996*, fibromyalgia in 2000, osteoporosis in 2001 and diabetes in 2003. Mitral valve disease in 2016. Heart size issue 2017 and a left ventricle wall fault.  { Okay, I think I’ve got enough! feeling a tad greedy here}

Addendum: WOW as of June 2016, I am free of the Hepatitis C.  All the meditation, alternative therapy and my stubborn will combined to clear me.  There is still damage in my liver, I have cirrhosis, yet I am stoked to see where I can take this healing journey, as I work to improve me every day.  

After a couple of terrifying collapses, the first at a comedy club in 2015 and the second at a day conference in July 2016, I am now aware of a heart issue: Mitral valve disease. Turns out I must have had rheumatic fever as a child, just like my aunt Kathleen. In late 2017, it was brought to my attention that I also have a heart that is the wrong size!  And in the classic everything comes in threes, I was also informed that my heart is not able to work properly due to a fault in the left ventricle’s inner wall ( Not the actual medical terminology) I’m now on a medication to slow my heart.  This is a factual accounting, nothing more… For the most part, I have and always have had no intention of giving up or giving in…

In 2004 a good friend suggested I go for an appointment with Patricia Wall, who is a Self-Mastery expert who teaches with tools you can use to deal with your … conscious, subconscious and limbic systems. Over the next 7 years, I built a complete virtual toolbox for self-mastery.  I utilize a plethora of these valuable and constructive meditations, techniques and tools to assist me to live my ‘Best Life’ always striving to be ‘In the Moment‘. I’m told this is mindful living. In my mind its full and I’m definitely living! 

Now, when life throws a challenge my way, I remind myself that I have the tools and the choice to master my life.

You have the choice –You get to choose it all. Pick yourself up and get back on track. Remember to congratulate yourself for all victories: large and small, even the tiny ones. Make the most of each moment. The more you do this, the better life gets, and it gets better every day.

I am the eternal PollyAnna. I play the ‘Glad Game’ daily.  I adore Oscar Wilde and I’m always open to the wonder that is life. I aim to improve 1% every day! and I live each moment with gratitude.

In 2018 Feb 20th I performed a set on stage at Yuk Yuk’s in Ottawa .. It was a blast, did it again in May 2019 at another club Don’t Quit Your Day Job Comedy Night – Ottawa

Update 2022 May – I am thrilled as I sit writing this update. I am more than 80 lbs lighter. More to the point I like me. I have learned to like me as I am, right this minute. 

In 2019 I found an amazing soul coach, in France, Fiona Robertson, who opened my mind to more and stretched my thoughts to include infinite possibilities. I began to acknowledge me.. Consider me.

By November of that year, I had found IF (Intermittent fasting) with Dr Jason Fung I read a few of his books, The Diabetes Code and The Obesity Code… The Complete Guide to Fasting.


I’m on a new trajectory, with a fab new way of life.. Finally connected with the great Nutritionist/Alchemist  Darpan Ahluwalia, the Total Nutrition Diva On Call this summer, as I was not doing well.  Keto doesn’t work for me I have no gall bladder, and that makes digesting fat really difficult.   Thanks to Darpan’s amazing Goldenroot™ Fermented Turmeric Blend things are really looking up!

I’m stoked to continue on the journey of improvement… knowing  It’s never too late!

Choose Joy. I do every day and you can too! Make the best of your today, every day! 

Elaine Sign Off

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